Feel like a fraud?
That feeling when…
You’ve worked your backside off yet still feel like a fraud…
You perform well, but feel the shame and guilt that it still isn’t good enough…
You’re pretending to be someone that you aren’t…
You’re waiting for everyone around you to shout out “AHA! We’ve finally found you out!”
You see everyone around you performing so confidently, yet feel so inadequate and unworthy to share the stage with them…
You think it’s been plain luck that’s got you to where you are…
You’re expecting someone to tap you on the shoulder, take all of your achievements away (because you think you don’t deserve them), and throw you out on the street…
If you’ve had any of these thoughts before, then you’re definitely not alone!
Welcome to the wonderful world of Imposter Syndrome!
Einstein had it. Maya Angelou and Neil Armstrong had it. Tom Hanks and Emma Watson have it. And I definitely have it, and it normally kicks in pretty hard when I’m writing blog posts like this one, preparing for a presentation, or stepping into the rehearsal room!
Although not considered a psychological disorder, imposter syndrome is an extremely common phenomenon in the performance world. Much like perfectionism, imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling that you’re never good enough, you think you are a sham, and way out of your depth. It’s closely associated with feelings of low self-worth, low confidence, and increased self-doubt, and can lead to more serious mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
It is so prevalent in performers partly because success is evaluated in an inherently subjective way, which is open to interpretation. You might have performed your heart out and felt like you nailed the concert. But there will always be people that love what you do, and others that don’t find it matching their taste. But there’s nothing much you can do, that’s life! 🤷♂️🤷♀️
So the first thing to remember with imposter syndrome is that YOU’RE NOT ALONE, and that your probably surrounded by other performers that have the same exact feelings that you do! So start to explore the feelings that you’re having by becoming more aware of them. Take note of what the little voice in your head is saying to you to make you feel this way. Then you can start to change the script and redirect your attention onto what you want to strive for.
The next way of combating it is to ASK YOURSELF BETTER QUESTIONS when you feel out of your depth. Quite often when we get into an evaluative situation we start to judge our performance, i.e. “How am I doing?” Generally our “Good” or “Bad” answer contains very little value because it doesn’t help us to learn, grow, or adjust through the current experience. However, it does is make us feel much worse if things don’t go according to plan, destroying confidence and self-esteem in the process.
So rather than asking yourself “What am I losing in this situation?”, flip it around and examine “WHAT AM I GAINING?” instead. It is ok to fail and fall short of your ideal outcome, and that’s a normal and realistic part of progress. But by focusing on the lessons learned, instead of the perceived damage to your reputation, it allows you to grow and flourish.
Anytime my imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, I listen to its voice and use it as an indicator to learn more about my perceived inadequacy. For example, before I write each blog I make sure to read lots of articles and watch plenty of videos so that I hopefully know what I’m talking about. But there is still the feeling that one of you will ask me a curly question that will show a gaping hole in my knowledge. Rather than feeling inadequate, I embrace this feeling and dive into learning more to plug that gap.
Now I look forward to curly questions (bring em’ on, I dare you!), because the outcome is always a positive one, despite feeling like a bit of an idiot in the short-term!
What’s your experience with imposter syndrome? Share your perspective below, don’t be shy!
Here’s a fantastically funny TEDx talk by entrepreneur Mike Cannon-Brookes on “How you can use imposter syndrome to your benefit.”